Ghosts

A spooky ghost

Guest post by Angela Chen, my boo and photographer. 

Appearance
The main thing that you'll notice about a ghost is its ghostly skin. They look like everyday people who have transformed into spectres/ghosts. There's a major spookfactor to their pale, ghostly skin, which is see-through. If you want to know what your friend would look like as a ghost, import your favorite picture of him/her into Photoshop--then lower the opacity! I hope this exercise will make you think twice about killing your friend. Casper is a boy ghost with a round head and a tail. The ghost tail is a ghost's signature look, made popular by the "Genie Tip."

Personality & Behaviour
There are four main categories of ghosts: sensitive boy ghosts; vicious girl ghosts with wet hair; murderous ghosts; and Pokemon ghost-types. Ghosts exhibit behaviors that can be observed in normal, live people, such as sobbing, wailing, pulling pranks, haunting/stalking others, floating/drifting, and holding grudges. However, ghosts are usually considered outcasts because of their singular obsession: white sheets with two holes. Ghosts find these irresistible and cannot stop themselves from putting one on. If you see a ghost--STAY AWAY!!! The ghost will probably float through you, leaving you covered in a sheet on Halloween. Boy, will you look lame.

Review
Ghosts are actually pretty great guys, they have some personality issues but who doesn't these days? Ghosts are the complete package, Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar, Peace.

SCORE

800!/17

Babies

A tyke with his arms and legs spread-eagled 

Guest post by Peter S, who dislikes our blog.

Appearance

You can ID a new baby because it wasn’t there a second ago, and now, splash, it is. Babies are usually surrounded by people making faces they think babies will like. Babies have lots of different smells, from “new” to “used”. No baby looks like its parent until it finally grows a face. Babies also have more baby mittens than anyone else you know. Also, they almost never wear the same baby mitten twice. Sometimes babies stop breathing for no apparent reason.

Personality & Behaviour
These young tots are part diva, part exotic pet, and very cute acting. Feeding a baby a lemon results in cute sputters, coughs and other signs of distress. Be sure to remove the lemon carefully, or it might get more deeply lodged in the baby’s widdle tiny throat. Babies are poor linguists and have very little endurance or patience for strenuous activity, but that's fine, no one really likes public speaking or marathons, and babies are just up front about it. Sometimes a baby will simply die because it is no longer breathing. This mystic, trippy force who takes the baby away is called Sid. After Sid has strangled these babies, they die and turn to piles of dust. This dust has many practical uses, like covering your best friend in cool dust! Shower time.

Babies stop being babies when a younger baby shows up, or when it starts talking too much. At this point, a baby generally Morphs, like a young soft little worm hatching into a cool butterfly.

Review
Babies are actually pretty great. They have some personality issues but who doesn't these days? Babies are the complete package, placenta, cord, and the womb, Peace.

SCORE
0/17

Charlie Sheens

contact music.corm for more info

Special guest post by Jacob Goldin, brother bear and former Violent Jaye

Appearance
Charlie Sheens have many different ways of looking to enforce their many mysterious illusions. Charlie Sheens are also sometimes portrayed as Veteran Vietnam Veterans. Charlie Sheens look occasionally panicked or frantic, but that’s just the way they are sometimes. Some Charlie Sheens have different television shows, like shows on TLC, FX, USA Network, and Channel 4. These shows feature at least one Sheen and an accompanying cast, plus editing and directing and gaffers, best boy. When the best boy grows up, he might just be the best man for the job- your Wedding Man.

Personality & Behaviour
The Charlie Sheen might come off as erratic to the common viewer, but generally has a sweet soul. Charlie Sheens frequently might jump out at you, but keep in mind they mean no harm. Basically, Charlie Sheens are fairly approachable men, who one might go to for counsel. To make friends with a Sheen, one might simply slap his leg twice with his left hand–allowing the Sheen to relax– then once in a calm state approach the Sheen from his rear and gently rub his back with a sensual touch.

Review
Charlie Sheens are actually pretty great guys, they have some personality issues but who doesnt these days? Charlie Sheens are the complete package, sugar, spice, and everything nice!!, Peace.

SCORE
15/17

Usain Bolt

"Yotzee! I got a yotzee!!!" That's five dice the same

special guest post by Kostya Kavutskiy, chess Wizkid

Appearance
Fast, this is a speedy individual. A yellow, green, and blacc blur, Usain St. Leo Bolt is known to many as the fastest mammal on the planet. Young, well-toned, and a bright star, his aero-dynamic face is perfect for promoting really good products that have utility or high flavor. Swift and public in his dancing, he's never been still for a photograph, despite many attempts.

Personality & Behavior
A hard-working, trustworthy, cereal eating athlete. He can do nothing else but sprint. With 3 olympic gold medals to his name and the fact that he once ran 100 meters in 9.58 seconds (with no tailwind), wow, great. But also his surname is just too perfect. Also he's been known to attend parties hosted by Jamaica countryman Sean Kingston. Don't forget he's also quite laid-back and relaxed! He'll train only to run, but never will he run for a train. “Ja” has never succeeded in makin him crazy; it's the vibrant culture and weedsmokethick atmosphere of Jamrock itself that makin him crazy.

Review
Usain Bolt is a pretty great chillaxin cheetah, he has some personality issues but who doesnt these days? Usain Bolt is the complete package, the nimble, the quick, and the jumping over the candle-stick, Peace.

SCORE

9.58/17

Smeagle

Gallum and... Emma Watson Completely Nude (you'll shit bricks)

Introduction

This week on People Blog, we have a special treat for you, the audience. Treat is.. Daniel Radcliffe submitted this guest post, the acclaimed British star.

Appearance
Gollum looks like a little old wonderful man. He has bulging eyes, a pocket full of delicious butterscotch candies, and great stories dating back to Operation Gulf War by George W Bush. He is very (my) precious and doesn't have all his teeth or normal sized ears. Ugly but in a cute, gross way.

Personality & Behaviour
Gollum is a house helper who helps Sam Wizard and Elijah Woods. They need to find the ring or potions and throw it into the fires but only before it's too late. After that, it will be too late. He talks to himself and has another name, Liv Tyler. Liv Tyler likes the ring because she's a Jersey Girl and it makes people and/or house helpers become invisible. His other personality is Aragorn (sp), King of People. In the movie Bilbo Baggins and the Two Towers, Argorn is played by Vigo Mortensen of the Purple Rose of Cairo (jk, April Fools Days, 2011). Vigo Mortensen's split personality is Orlanda Bloon (sp) who is Pirates. Gollum's personality is very introverted. And by introverted, I of course mean that he is the type to fall into volcanoes, which are nature's goblets of fire. Gollum once wisely said, as he was walking into Mortork, "One does not simply walk into Mordor, my precious". Gollum twice wisely said, "16", in response to Gimmles when Gimmles
asked him how many Ents he killed. Gollum's other personality Pipi likes second breakfast but he shall not pass.

Review
Gollum is actually a pretty great guy, he has some split-personality issues but who doesn't these days? Gollum is the complete package, return, of, the, king, Peace.

SCORE
0/17

Alert:

Full Disclosure:

April Fools Day! It's by My Friend, not Daniel Radcliffe