Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Hobbyists

It's the freakin' weekend,
baby, I'm about to have me sum fun
making flutes and charms!~
-Our Kelly

Appearance

     Their leg protrudes from one of the tubes of a pair of Bermuda Shorts, and the other leg quietly emerges from the adjacent tube. The torso is embalmed in a viscous Hawaiian shirt. The shirt sheathes them like a knight's protective armor, but it is softer and quite different altogether. Like the shorts under them, this Hawaiian thorax tube has two appendages that slither out like eels.
     Hobbyists are quiet, but there is always a gleam in their eyes, from the quiet satisfaction of knowing that their free time is well-wasted.
     "I can't wait to get back to my playspace so I can build a birdhouse. I can only discover my Inner Child through birdhouses," said and explained the hobbyist wryly, as if he were fighting back the urge to chortle.
     Suddenly, he chortled, with a smirk upon his mouth. He had lost the fight, but it didn't matter, because at the end of the day he still was able to get a bird in hand (better than two bushbirds).
     "Now," said the hobbyist with evident delight, "I won't be lacking in feathers tonight for my cancer-ridden wife's bare pubic mound."
     "And," he chuckled to himself, "I can whip up a nice batch of Hobbyists' Soup."
     As if to chastise himself, his eyes rolled back in their sockets, showing only the whites, and he muttered sullenly and loudly, "But I simply can't slurp up all that Hobbyists' BirdSoup without designing and executing a bird costume out of what remains of the feathers once my wife's bush is nice and full... That's no way to eat BirdGoop."
     Finally, he sighed, "And what of the BirdBones? Oh dear."

Personality & Behaviour

     Hobbyists are men and womyn who live most fully in the interstices of their own lives. They like the simpler things in life such as whittling. They also like the simpler things in life such as golf. Additionally, they like the simpler things in life such as gardening and soilworks. They also like the simpler things in life such as tinkering. Anything more complicated than that and you've got a heart attack waiting to happen on your hands (if you're a paramedic with hands, that is).
     I've long believed that all work and no play will make me - Jack - a dull boy. I prefer a healthy sheen to my skin, so I play all day in my workshop until I'm a shiny lad. Sometimes my kids ask what I do in there all day. I tell them to go back to bed. That's a man's business.

Review

     Hobbyists are actually pretty great guys, they have some personality issues, but who doesn't these days? Hobbyists are the complete package, owning an antique car, maintaining an antique car, and buying the damn thing in the first place,
     Peace.


SCORE

2/17

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