Lovers

We made a graph of the difference between men and the difference
between women. Read it counter-leftwise from the top.

Appearance
Lovers are beautiful. They have giant swollen lips so that they can kiss across great distances.  Their unlimited beauty is surpassed only by that of the Greek goddess Aphrodite (Afrodite hahahahahahahaha). When lovers make love, you can feel the sexual energy that pulsates from clit to tip. If you imprison a lover so that he cannot reach his mate, he will say, "Lemme at her! Lemme at her!" Eventually, he will either be let at her, or he will die, because you forgot to buy snacks for the prison!! Where is the love? Lovers wear striped shirts with wine and cheese for dinner. Lovers look hot if they're a girl. She can sometimes be really busty, which is why someone loves her, carnally. If lovers are a boy, then they rely on their strength. Here is a list of the girlfriends People Blog Staff has loved: Nora Bright, Marlena Rijn, Alex Brady, Elizabeth Chamberlain, Angela Chen, Edna Cao, Annie Saunders, Lubabah Ben-Ghaly, Lara Roizen, Angela Chen, Angela Chen, Olivia Russin. Phew, what a mental workout, to think of such things. Ahhhhh. Memories. Ahhhhh to be sixteen again, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yum, it feels fucking great, if you just accept it.

Personality & Behaviour
Love. What is it? It's four different bases: 1) It's the kiss-job (kjob), 2) It's the heavy grappling (wetpetting), 3) It's the oral presentation, 4) It's the best feeling in the world! Lovers get to experience all of these AND anal. But first, you've gotta bullshit some love letters and then sign them. Seal them with hot wax, but be sure to save some for later.... you're gonna need a LOT of wax for the candles so that you'll be able to see her for godsakes. But even though I'm bullshitting this love letter to get her to give sex, I actually do really like her! I swear. It's just that I'm not really good with words, letters, numbers, or licking envelopes (major drymouth), but I WANT her.

Review
Lovers are actually pretty great guys, they have some personality issues but who doesn't these days? Lovers are the complete package, loved, lost, not at all!, Peace.

SCORE
∞/17   and 69