Tuesday, April 26, 2011


These four Beetles have landed a wedding gig! Bon Marriage!
Beetles are men on a musical team consisting of four players: John Lemon, Paul McCarthy, Ronnie Star, and George Harris, but he's dead, and John Lemon is dead. Some say that Paul is Dead, but he was definitely at Coachella and he sang the fuck out of "Baby Im Amazed." If you listen to the songs backwards, they'll sound bad. Some people say "the pen is mightier than the sword," but a true Beetle would argue that the rock guitar is mightier than the sword, and it weeps gently. Beetles worship a Queen and have bad teeth; they also speak in a British accent. Whatever you do, don't get on their bad side, because you might anger Big Ben. I wonder if they are worried about Bigger Ben. I wonder how they like their coffee -- with sugar, with cream? NOPE - with tea! I lay awake wondering if there are other British stereotypes. Maybe... Maybe...maybe... Yes! There is! It is that British girls are ugly.

Personality & Behavior
Beetles are born songsters, but their repertoire is limited to Beatles songs. Some famous Beatles songs that they sing are Strawberry Fields Forever, Help! I Need Somebody Not Just Anybody, and War Pigs by Black Sabbath. Beetles are widely remembered for doing Drugs back in the day. The Drugs famously made them choose ugly colors for their album art. Another bad side effect was that they got expanded minds -- ouch! John Lemon's mind got way too expanded in 1980 and it trickled out of his rear headhole!!!! This is known as an "assassination." Yoko Oh-no! I wonder if other Beetles had girlfriends too. The best Beetle is George Harris.

Beetles are actually pretty great guys, they have some personality issues but who doesnt these days? Beetles are the complete package, Eggman, Walrus, and Goo Goo G'Joob, Peace.

Number 9 /17


  1. Brutus: Thanks for your feedback. We'll make sure to include more Beetles in future posts.


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