Monday, March 12, 2012

The Character From All Those Late 80s, Early 90s GoGurt Commercials

A late 80s, early 90s youth - the target demo
for that creative original character
Appearance
You remember what that pesky GoGurt mascot always wanted: more GoGurt. He would always look so hungry in those ads. Think back to like watching your favorite program when you were a kid. Don't you always associate this mascot with that time period and those favorite characters of yours? Yes, I get so nostalgic every time my brain hearkens back to those innocent days. When I see kids THESE days eating GoGurt, I think, "Man, these kids will never know what GoGurt is really all about, the spirit of these ads is all wrong, I prefer the old ads." The new ads are just about mindcontrolling everyone to buy GoGurt. The old ads, however, were all about presenting a really likable character who just seemed so upbeat and encouraging all the time, with regard to GoGurt exclusively. Do you want to know what he really looks like... ?

Personality & Behaviour
The ol' commercials always started like this: the GoGurt character would always be prowling about, hungry for some GoGurt. Then you'd see some spoiled kids nearby unjustifiably eating GoGurt. The GoGurt mascot would then become justifiably jealous, and would fly up to a high perch from which to observe the kids' slurps. When the kids were just about to finish, invariably the GoGurt mascot would croak left, croak right, and finally to the side. Understandably (justifiably) scared, the children would abandon their nearly finished GoGurts, exiting the forest to return to their towns. The Character would slither toward the abandoned 'Gurt and, well, feed. *Shudder* After that, he'd burrow deep down into the ground, creating an elaborate maze-like tunnel the walls of which he coated in 'Gurt to provide greater slip'n'slide' effect. The camera would look down into the hole, and there he'd be at the bottom, looking up toward the sky, raising his claws to the sky and saying, "I Love GoGurt." Then words would come up on the screen, giving you the following information: "Squeeze and Slurp, Grab and Glurp." And then you'd really know.

Review
The Character From All Those Late 80s, Early 90s GoGurt Commercials is actually a pretty great guy, he has some personality issues, but who doesn't these days? The Character From All Those Late 80s, Early 90s GoGurt Commercials is the complete package, Strawberry, Berry Blue Blast, and Strawberry Splash, Peace.

SCORE
15/17

2 comments:

  1. GoGurt wasn't a thing in the late 80s/early 90s.

    ReplyDelete
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