Wednesday, January 18, 2012


You can play as twins in Smashed Brawls.
These are the Iced Climbers.
Guest post by Ian Shein's twin-in-law, whom you might find here.

Double, double, toil, and trouble! Uh oh, am I seein’ double? No, your eyesight’s perfectly normal because actually what you’re seeing is actually one set of twins! (AKA look-alikes) Twins happen when the male sperm severs the mom’s egg in half with his razor sharp tail, separating her frothy egg yolk into twins…Thus, twins are the byproduct of gunky mom yolk. Twins can look dashing, smashing, charming, or freaky. Each one constitutes one full half of a person…put them together and you’ve got yourself a live one! Don’t try any funny business with just the one of them however, as the other one almost always finds out about it psychotelepathically. In fact, twins are defined as being two twinborn intertwined twinberries teamed with a twinge of telepathy. Most twins are all psychics and because they’re twins, it also makes them sidekicks, which is why we must stop these psychic sidekicks when you see them in your streets. All twins are connected by the brain, but most are born physically connected at the dome piece

Personality & Behaviour
We should mention that twins come in all kinds of shapes, all kinds of sizes, and some certain select races, but there are still only two kinds of twins: Identity twins and Fraternity twins. Identity twins are the same person split into two separate halves of the same goopy genetic materials. In other words, clones. These clone twins are sent to the earth by the devil to try and confuse you and me. They will often try and trick you into thinking they are separate individuals by dressing differently, listening to different types of music, or by having different first names, but really this is totally bogus. Sometimes they like to pretend to be one another in order to resurrect a certain romantic flame here, or sabotage some impending marriage there… It should be noted that one half is almost certainly evil as well: (See Ron Howard’s twin here) (See Janet Jackson’s twin here) (See Blake Griffin’s twin here) (See Charlie Kaufman’s twin here

Fraternity twins are the ones in the same sororities. These are the ones lots of guys like to party with because they have twice as many mouths, twice as many tits, and twice as many labia. Fraternity twins like to refer to their own breasts as “twins” as well, which is alarming and incites befuddlement. The appropriate response upon finding out an acquaintance has slept with fraternity twins is encouragement by performing a "high-five." 

I once knew these two twins through my Volleyball league. One was totally social and the other one was totally awkward, but totally smart. 

Twins can also be extremely competitive with each other, hence the cliché and oft. over-used adage, “twin it to win it.” This is the reason twins are always working in the same workplaces together be it in a music band, Hollywood television sitcoms with Bob Saget, or NBA basketball leagues. 

Twins are actually pretty great girls, they have some personality issues, but who doesn’t these days? Twins are the complete package, Mary, Kate, and Ashley, Peace. 


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