Javier Bardem

Jav and Pen swimming at their snooty, high
class vacation resort in Palm Sproings!

Appearance
He is a famous movie actor, so I'm sure you know what he looks like if you've ever been to the moving flicks. If you haven't seen" Untitled Terrence Malick Project (2012) "the newest upcoming Bardem raunchfest, then that's probably because your dad isn't a dues-paying member of the Screen Actors Guild who gets you into screenings of the latest Bardem raunchfests ;). Anyways, that means you don't know what he looks like so his description is as such: hair like your dad's worst nightmare -- ie black hair. Your dad is afraid of, shall we say, black hair!!! He looks like Homo Heidelbergensis, including the sloping fourhead, the sloping squatbones, and the cool spearheads. If he lived back in cave times, he would probably act in movies made from stones instead of the hi-tech camcorders of today- Nikon. Plus Biutiful would not have had as many contenders and therefore may have scraped a Tony for movies. Therefore, his giant face is not a total loss for us all. We haven't seen his peepee so no one knows what THAT looks like but we do know that Penne Cruz likes it so at the very least the peep matches her specific twat specifications.

Personality & Bejavier Bardem
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                    :)

Review
Javier Bardem is actually a pretty great guy, he has some personality issues but who doesn't these days? Javier Bardem is the complete package, eat, pray, love, Peace.

SCORE
17/17 Biutiful