Boxers

Jackie Chan unleashing his finishing move in round 10

Appearance
Muhammad Ali, for example, floats -like a butterfly, produces honey for a queen bee -like a bee. Most boxers don't look like giant bugs, however. Most are fit young blacks or whites or Filps who prance around the ring but then punch at you. Their version of muscles is called Lean Muscles. Similarly, there is such a thing called Lean Meat, to be purchased at Ralphs. Similarly to that, there is something a boxer can do called Leaning to the side, which is a counterproductive boxing strategem/strategy. Try to stand up straight, even Lean Back a little like Fat Joe's Terror Squad of frightening Boxers. To give an example of how a boxer dresses, one might reference a picture of a common Cangaroo wearing boxing gloves and shorts.  The shorts are shiny and the gloves are dick-tip red. In the distance, there is a trainer who is gesticulating wildly and saying things like, "You can take on the world now." The way I envision the boxing ring from movies, the trainer is usually positioned directly behind his own boxer, so only the enemy boxer can perceive his handular and voxular advice. What? Who thought up that brilliant fucking set up? Switch sides.

Personality & Behaviour
I don't think boxers are mad at each other, the only reason they're fighting is that it's time to box. Philosophically, boxers don't need to punch. A boxer could just box mentally over a game of chess, but their opponent may wish to continue pummeling you to crispy shreds. In other words, it's boxing time.

Trav steps into the ring with his boxing gloves and shorts on, plus handwraps under for safety. He puts a lemon in his mouth. But the problem is Matt, replete with boxing gloves, shorts, handwraps, and citrus, also steps into the ring. And that's when things start to heat up: their trainers, beet-red, vivid with fury, put their long angry fingers into the air as if the air in the room is one giant pussy for fingering, and tell them to fight ASAP. Trav takes a step forward, pratfalls. Matt's banana trap was a critical hit, but not very effective - because it looks like Trav is up again, throwing a slugger at Matt's left jaw. Matt takes the hit, lingers, then decides to retaliate with an even stronger hit. Trav doesn't anticipate this surprise move so he gets slugged but it's fine because he's got his own slug to shoot- straight to Matt's critical area. Matt blushes. OK, he thinks, sticks and stones may break my bones. And it's true: Matt's bones are all shattered, but it's a perfect opportunity to wield a stray bone against Trav and slice him up with this sharp bone. Trav hates bones so he runs away but then he bounces off the ropes and gets boned to the bone. In the end, it was a violent fight.

Review
Boxers are actually pretty great guys, they have some personality issues but who doesnt these days? Boxers are the complete package, strike 1, strike 2, strike 3 KO, Peace.

SCORE
11/17