French Girls

Couldn't find the brassiere on her if you looked with a ten foot pole
that had extendable bug-eyes that would otherwise be blind if it had
no eyes

Appearance
Looks like a normal classy girl with red lipstick. A cigarette dangles from her lipsticked lipz, ashes teetering on the edge of the cigarette, just dying to jump. She has beautiful fashion, like a beret or clasped sweater. It is chic, not unlike Zooey Deschanel, but with more sex appeal like Serge Gainsbourg, the famous songsinger. It's so sick, however, that she doesn't shave! And it's so gross that she doesn't wear antiperspirant. But she's still beautiful because she has that carefree baguettitude. Like a fresh, crisp baguette first thing from the baker's in the morn, you just want to butter her butt like Last Tango (in Gay Paree). Luckily, she's really American. The thing is, she just idealizes French culture -- a francophile is what it's called.

Personality & Behaviour
Always late for French 101 but the professor doesn't care because they've established a questionable relationship because of their meetings outside of class to get Frog's Legs and escargot meat. She speaks English, but will find any excuse to launch into Camus, Godard, Jacques Cousteau, and French presidents. She knows that Paris is the best city, which is why she has a wallet that has the word "Paris" on it, with an ugly background to boot. She misses the days when the Eiffel Tower was the tallest building ever erected. She's a foodie and loves ratatouille and, once again, Frog's Legs and escargot meat. She hates living in vulgar America, would rather live in vulgar France where the men can ravish you with wines, mimes, and striped shirts. Ultimately, though, she's best compared to a mouse because of her hoarding of the finest cheeses.

Review
French Girls are actually pretty great girls, they have some personality issues but who doesnt these days? French Girls are the complete package, liberté, égalité, fraternité, Peace.

SCORE
Deux/Dix-Sept