Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Actors

I've interviewed hundreds of these smooth-faced
actresses, but this one REALLY stands out
Appearance
Radiant faces without acne or scars and bodies that are very much what you would want, actors are totally made to star in all the hot new auditions you don't watch. When they talk to you, you never mistake what they're saying, because there is a big sitcom pause at the end of each of their sentences. Every actor has a distinct "look." There are actors with a "Caucasian handsome" look, actors with a "Nordic handsome" look, actors with an "Aryan handsome" look, and some white actors. If you are having difficulty picturing what I mean, watch a movie. Those are full of actors who are just jonesing to perform for you. However, this People Blog entry is not about actors on the screen. Onscreen, they congeal and become acceptable to watch. I am talking about seeing actors at Open Mics, you know, living in LA with a bunch of people around you who just want to make it, they might be living in an apartment with FIVE other people in one bedroom but someday.. I made the mistake of looking at an actor's teeth once, and now I am blind- don't look at those voodoo teeth! I hate these Hindu fucks.

Personality & Behaviour
Actors obey their Agents. Or at least they act like they do. ;) But is there any specific way an actor acts? Actors act lots of ways -- that's acting! Therefore, their Personality & Behaviour most closely identifies with that of a chameleon man. These charmeleons flit from scene to scene, laughing, crying, and the rest. Sometimes I imagine that everyone I know is just an actor and I'm the only real person on this planet. At such times, I experience profound despair- true pathos like the movies. I wring my hands and wail my voice, while looking up into the rainy sky (I'm imagining this from an aerial perspective). If there's a God, he made a bunch of actors to make this cool movie called Earth, and I'm the punchline. Ha! Too bad this is one movie you can't rewatch when it's over; I'm referring to death. Death is like the end of the movie that you can't ever see again- you have to rent a new movie from Redbox. Unfortunately, the only movie available is Eternal Hell.

Review
Actors are actually pretty great guys, they have some personality issues, but who doesn't these days? Actors are the complete package, Alec Baldwin (the oldest), Daniel Baldwin (the second in command), William (Billy) Baldwin (the Billy in command), and Stephen Baldwin (the youngest) -- it's a true Hollywood miracle, Peace.

SCORE
Oscar/17 --PSYCHE!!! JK I was just acting!! Golden Globes/17

2 comments:

  1. let's go get a pint; discuss our options.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Who is this actress, she looks familiar?

    ReplyDelete

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