Beetles

These four Beetles have landed a wedding gig! Bon Marriage!

Appearance

Beetles are men on a musical team consisting of four players: John Lemon, Paul McCarthy, Ronnie Star, and George Harris, but he's dead, and John Lemon is dead. Some say that Paul is Dead, but he was definitely at Coachella and he sang the fuck out of "Baby Im Amazed." If you listen to the songs backwards, they'll sound bad. Some people say "the pen is mightier than the sword," but a true Beetle would argue that the rock guitar is mightier than the sword, and it weeps gently. Beetles worship a Queen and have bad teeth; they also speak in a British accent. Whatever you do, don't get on their bad side, because you might anger Big Ben. I wonder if they are worried about Bigger Ben. I wonder how they like their coffee -- with sugar, with cream? NOPE - with tea! I lay awake wondering if there are other British stereotypes. Maybe... Maybe...maybe... Yes! There is! It is that British girls are ugly.

Personality & Behavior

Beetles are born songsters, but their repertoire is limited to Beatles songs. Some famous Beatles songs that they sing are Strawberry Fields Forever, Help! I Need Somebody Not Just Anybody, and War Pigs by Black Sabbath. Beetles are widely remembered for doing Drugs back in the day. The Drugs famously made them choose ugly colors for their album art. Another bad side effect was that they got expanded minds -- ouch! John Lemon's mind got way too expanded in 1980 and it trickled out of his rear headhole!!!! This is known as an "assassination." Yoko Oh-no! I wonder if other Beetles had girlfriends too. The best Beetle is George Harris.

Review
Beetles are actually pretty great guys, they have some personality issues but who doesnt these days? Beetles are the complete package, Eggman, Walrus, and Goo Goo G'Joob, Peace.

SCORE

Number 9 /17

Strangers

Appearance
A stranger probably seems nice, and maybe they have blonde hair, what do I know? Tall, short, who knows? They definitely could be a girl or a man, that's for sure. It's possible there's a stranger out there you don't even know. His name could even be Salc, but another possible spelling is Salk. But we're not here to bicker about the spelling of the great American name Salck. A stranger is literally a grab bag. Anyone can be a stranger, even your best friend, provided you've never even met the guy. One can know only so many people; life is short! The only consistent thing about strangers is their long, tattered traveling cloaks and their deep-set, sunken eyes, which look jaded and world-weary.

Personality & Behaviour
Strangers are wispy beings- you can never seem to grasp them. They are always one step ahead. The only way to kill a stranger is to add him as a friend. If you ever find yourself cornered by a stranger, ask him what his interests are, who he be with, what numbers to dial. If the stranger considers this line of questioning too intrusive, take another approach. Everyone's different. Zalc has his own rhythms, and you need to keep in mind that sometimes two people just won't mesh. You have to step 2 the beat!! 1, 2. 1, 2. 1, 2. 1, 2. Also keep in mind that you are a stranger to others as well, which is why they will be asking you the same questions. Thus, true dialog is impossible in the modern age. Our generation is too Wired and Plugged In. Get off Facebook! Join Friendster.shrek

Review

Strangers are actually pretty great people, they have some personality issues but who doesnt these days? Strangers are the complete package, who, what, and where, Peace.

SCORE
?/17