Saturday, October 8, 2011


Please help me against this robber
Masked with a black mask and a striped shirt like your favorite type of xebra. The masque was originally developed by its creators to deal with skiing, but luckily for robbers the conditions in a robbable house are very similar, ie slopes, and there's also plenty of snow to steal for profit in there. Don't expect to actually see the robber though. They employ a special sort of "C.A.M.O" to cloak themselves to get your favorite jewels, gems and prizes. The "C.A.M.O" is that they slink across the floor like a sick snake slithering for your sums. Quick Tip: to prevent their "camouflage" from working, install snake charmers throughout the zone. Their weird alibaba shit instantly knocks them out and puts them right where they belong - behind bars. Robbers love to go to bars, where every drink is at their disposal, like Rum or even contemporary Buds and Pilsner Lights. Robbers look ugly under their masks but don't try to take it off because it hurts them and you'll need to apply your best salve to their tender spots. These topical ointments are generally sold in tubes but they should probably be called Oinkments because there's a pig there. Show a little love for these robbers... not everyone was prom king and queen in high school and so some people have to rob, so just fork it over already, and maybe when you pass a homeless man on the street, consider his feelings as you walk by, lying to him about whether you have change or even a dollar and then spitting on his dead body, already half buried in four days' worth of sleet, blood caked all over his reeking clothes and putrid privates (yuck); a yucky overflowing traschcan casts its sinister shadow over this corpse, preventing you from realizing that he is in fact covered in the footprints of us apathetic cityfolk. Be that as it may, a little white mouse nestles in his cool beard and the circle of life starts again.

Personality & Behaviour
Robsters, not lobsters, not snobsters, especially not jobsters, but probably snobsters in their own way, probsters. Syntax Error 9499. Ok, reconfigured our server netscapes. Let's get back to the post. Ugh, but I lost my place. Hold on, let me reread all this first. Ok, ready to write! Let's go! I once shoplifted from American Apparel. Plus I shoplifted a scent spray for my girl and I think that I know why robbers always look so pleased. Being able to satisfy your wife with gifts causes her to emit high-pitched sonic frequencies that look effing fantastic and, like an Opera singer addressing a wine glass, shatter your cock to the next level of pleasure. Now THAT'S a rob well done.

Robbers are actually pretty great guys, they have some personality issues but who doesn't these days? Robbers are the complete package, Bernie Madoff, hamburglar, and Catch Me If You Can by Leonardo d'Caprio, Peace.

17/17... Wait, weren't they originally allotted 15 pts.? Where did those 2 extra pts. come from? Oh man, we better check all of our posts. ah fuck, i can't believe they've done this

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